Hey everyone can we talk about bacon for just a second.

Uh, we need to calm the fuck down about bacon. Yeah, of course it's great, but holy fuck can we stop treating bacon like it's the second coming of Christ.

I mean yeah of course it tastes great. It is a piece of thinly cut meat that is friend in its own grease. Of course that's going to taste great.  But it's not like we are reinvented the wheel here.

But bacon can just be eaten on it's own! Yeah, no doubt, but it's just getting out of control. Everything has bacon on it. Ice cream has bacon it in some places. There is a festival in Iowa where ladies wear bacon dresses. That's silly and unnecessary.

There used to be a time where the only time bacon was available was during breakfast and when you wanted a BLT that's it.

Bacon is so popular that if someone ran for President and just had a plate of bacon with them at all times and handed it out to people he would with the popular vote, but probably not the Electoral College. Thanks founding fathers.

If we go to a party and something isn't wrapped in bacon we get pissed off. Who are we to be so demanding. We don't need to have our pineapple wrapped in bacon. It just doesn't need to be a thing.

We've turned into that Beggin' Strip dog. Whenever we get a whiff of bacon we lose our shit. It seems like a clever ploy by the bacon council almost. How do you get more people to buy bacon? You make the smell a Pavlovian response. Clever, clever.

We need to be careful with bacon, because if start to get too clingy bacon is going to have the talk with us. "Hey, I know we've been having a little fun, but you need to give me a little room to breathe. Why don't you go hang out with Sausage Link for awhile or Sausage Patty."

So let's give bacon a bit of a break. Let's try out some other meats for a little bit and then have bacon for some special occasions.