Super Bowl Prop Bets! Super Bowl 50 Version!
It’s that time of year again. The Super Bowl is upon us and as always Las Vegas has their betting lines up for degenerate gamblers to pursue. This game is so lopsided. Las Vegas is really hoping that you and your deranged friends will bet on some of the more unique prop bets that are out there. So just like last year here are some of the top prop bets you can take part in.
WILL THEY SING ONLY THE AMERICAN NATIONAL ANTHEM?
The NFL is working their balls off to try and get a franchise in England. They want to make this a global game, but that’s going to be hard when they call their game the same as a way more popular global game. You never know what’s going to happen at the Super Bowl and this is the 50th playing of this game. So maybe they want to extend that olive branch to another country. So don’t be surprised if you hear the Canadian, Spanish and Brazilian National Anthems before kick-off.
WILL THE COIN FLIP?
Big controversy in the Arizona-Green Bay game when the coin flip at the start of the Overtime period didn’t actually flip. Because this happened one time we will now have to be subject to what-ifs for the rest of our lives. They screwed up the coin toss when it was called in the air so now they have to declare what their call is before the flip like they are declaring a major in college. Odds are pretty low that it won’t flip again, but if you want to make some cash bet that it won’t.
WILL THE GRASS ON THE FIELD BE OVER 2 INCHES AT KICKOFF?
A lot of turf management workers are keeping close eye on this one. Most the time the grass is over 2 inches on the field, but with a possibility of rain in the forecast for the game that could cause the grass to get matted down and not reach its full potential. If you know a guy who constantly mows his lawn during the summer hit him up for additional information so you can place your money properly.
WILL CAM NEWTON RUSH FOR 2 YARDS RESULTING IN A FIRST DOWN, STAND UP, RUN FORWARD ANOTHER 10 YARDS, SCREAMING THE ENTIRE TIME WITH HIS EYES CLOSED, HEAD SLIGHTLY TILTED UPWARD AS THOUGH HE IS YELLING AT ANDRE THE GIANT?
Yes, he will do this. He always does this.
WILL PEYTON MANNING GET A PIZZA DELIVERED TO THE SIDELINE DURING THE GAME?
Pizza and football go together like terrible Papa John’s commercials and football game broadcasts. Because Peyton owns a few franchises and is always a company man, so don’t be surprised if Papa John himself stumbles onto the field with two large pizzas and a 2 liter of coke.
NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN THE CROWD AROUND THE STAGE WHO WILL ACT LIKE THEY ARE ACTUALLY BEING ENTERTAINED BY COLDPLAY DURING THE HALFTIME SHOW. Over/Under: 400.
Coldplay is your halftime show. That sounds like the greatest halftime show from 2002. This is the 50th Super Bowl, this is supposed to be a monumental game for your league. You know how you actually do this NFL? You get the best halftime shows from the first 50 years. You start out with some marching bands. (Because that’s what used to be the halftime show at the Super Bowl) and then have every major musical act that’s ever performed at the Super Bowl come back and do it again. Simple solution and people would love it. Oh bet the over on this one.
WILL PHIL SIMMS HAVE ANY VOICE INFLECTION ON AN EXCITING PLAY
No, he won’t. Phil Simms has the look and personality of a loaf of bread.
WILL PEYTON MANNING RETIRE AFTER THIS GAME?
Peyton Manning has been playing football forever. This is his 4th Super Bowl and hopefully it ends with a 2nd Super Bowl win. He is hardly the reason this team made the Super Bowl, so that might be just enough for them to pull the major upset over the Panthers.
WILL THE SECOND HALF MATTER?
Probably not. The Panthers get out to big leads and then just dick around until the time is up. They have had 21 point leads turn into 7 point victories in the regular season. The second half will be a great time for you to start up a card game or maybe catch up on Making a Murderer. This is a huge bummer for advertisers who have 2nd half placements for their ads. With not much on the line once the 2nd half starts you might be able to buy a company’s ad spot for pennies on the dollar. They’ll want to do it to so that they can recoup some of their loses. And then you can advertise that Kickstarter for your graphic novel.
WHO WINS SUPER BOWL 50?
It’s probably going to be the Panthers because they have been the best team all year. But the last time the Broncos played the best team in the league going into the Super Bowl and were getting double digit points on the spread they won. So let’s cheer for the Broncos but not be surprised if Carolina wins.
Have fun this Sunday and gamble responsibly.