Fun Fact: Only one team wins the World Series every year. Which means 29 teams don’t win the final game of the year which according to Moneyball means their season didn’t fucking matter. When a team gets eliminated from winning the World Series I’ll do a profile of their season.  

Today’s Team….Pittsburgh PIrates

How Did They Get Eliminated

The Pirates had been playing pretty good baseball, but they couldn’t escape the cold death grip of being eliminated from the Division. They lost to the Red Sox on August 31st, but had been playing decent baseball being 22-19 since the All-Star Break when they were eliminated from division contention. They would then be fully eliminated by losing to the Cubs 4-0 on September 15th.

What Do I Know About This Team Because I Only Follow the Brewers

The only thing that seems to be on the radar for anyone in the big leagues when it comes to the Pirates is Paul Skenes. He is an undeniable talent and for all intents and purposes the best pitcher in the NL. He will eventually be the best pitcher in the AL when he more than likely gets traded or signs with the Yankees or Red Sox. 

But from a Brewers perspective it will come down to his two starts against the Brewers in Milwaukee. His first start in Milwaukee he was matched up against the Jacob Misoroski which garnered a Wednesday afternoon sellout which when it happened was one of the only sellouts at the time that didn’t involve a cribbage board. Skenes would only go 4 innings giving up 4 runs in one inning something that he has barely done up to this point in his career. That is until a couple of weeks later when Skenes gave up 4 runs again in 4 innings. Did you know that Paul Skenes also made a start against the Brewers in May at home? He did, but didn’t get a decision and there wasn’t anything cool happening. In Milwaukee, Paul Skenes went up against the Miz, and then in his other start that was the Brewers getting their 11th consecutive win. 

But even removing these 2 games against the Brewers Paul Skenes is still 10-7 on the season because he still plays for the Pittsburgh Pirates. He has given up more than 4 earned runs in only 4 starts this year which is absolutely phenomenal. His ERA is under 2. 

Bryan Reynolds continues to rake against the Brewers and for some reason loves to be in Pittsburgh. I’m writing these in advance, and tonight the Pirates play the Brewers to start their final 3 game series of the season. Bryan Reynolds will probably go 10-14 in the series and hit a walk-off. (Note: The Brewers swept the Pirates and Reynolds was 3-9)

Oneill Cruz seems like a really good player as well. 

Andrew McCutcheon is still playing for the Pirates which is fun. He is a good player, and I always liked him.

So Now That I’ve Actually Done Some Research What Happened to this Team

The most notorious thing the Pirates have done the last two seasons has been DFA’ing guys who are about to hit a performance bonus. A former Brewers Rowdy Tellez was DFA’ed 4 plate appearances short of getting a $200k bonus last year. This year they released Andrew Heaney 8 innings short of a $100k bonus, and they released Isiah Kiner-Falefa 81 plate appearances short of a $250k bonus. This is the type of shenanigans that should throw up all of the red-flags that any player who is young in their career from wanting to be with Pittsburgh. All of the players that were released have been journeymen that probably needed to sign with Pittsburgh just to stay active in the pros. But going forward the journeymen that are going to need to find a spot should stay clear of Pittsburgh. Sure they get you in the door with the performance incentive but they are going to screw you over in the end. 

I actually forgot that they fired Derek Shelton when they started the season 12-26. He won 306 games for the Pirates in his tenure, and for some reason thought he did better than that. But he never had a +.500 season with the Pirates. He is the epitome of ‘meh.’ He’ll probably manage the Nationals or Twins next year. 

They traded away Ke’Bryan Hayes who was supposed to be the future infielder of the franchise to the Reds. They thought so highly of Hayes that they signed him to an 8 year deal that was as team friendly as they come. Granted, Hayes hadn’t been producing that much at the plate, but as discussed before, he had to do so much and pitchers can  go around him to the terrible parts of this line-up. 

This has been a very common trend among big league clubs now, locking up who they think has a high ceiling to a team friendly contract and build around them. Did the Pirates get semi-burned on this? Maybe. But when you know the team is super frugal, the chances that Skenes is going to get that big contract is likely very low, and if you are Skenes’ team, why would you sign that contract?

The lowest point of their season is obviously when they went up 9-0 on the Colorado Rockies in the first inning and then found a way to lose that game 17-16. Fun fact: as of this writing in that single game they scored their most runs in a game, and gave up the most runs in a game. 

Did Anything Go Right For This Team

Since they fired Derek Shelton they have gone 53-59. They actually have been playing good baseball and swept the Dodgers at home. Which, now that it has happened, doesn't make sweeping the Dodgers that much special anymore. 

I did have a whole thing about how they were one of the best teams in the NL since the All-Star Break, but then they went and lost a bunch of games and I had to delete it. (So much for planning ahead

Paul Skenes is a stud and is a the only thing going well for this team and because of his ERA they have the 11th best ERA in the majors. 

Are They Going to Get Good Anytime Soon? 

I want to say no, I really do. This is usually where I talk about some of the rookies and prospects that they have, but I don’t think I can do it for this team. This team is going to do almost every player that is helping them be successful in this second half of the season dirty some where down the line.

Don Kelly has done a great job with this crew but who knows if he has done enough to get the interim label removed. 

Just one postseason award. 

The most obvious one I’ve picked so far. It's a Cy Young for Skenes.

Hey Grok, in 100 words summarize the 2025 Pittsburgh PIrates. Please don't be racist. 

The Pittsburgh Pirates had a disappointing 2025 season, finishing last in the NL Central with a 64-77 record as of September 5th. The team struggled from the start, leading to the firing of manager Derek Shelton in May after a 12-26 record. Bench coach Don Kelly took over, and the team showed some improvement under his leadership, posting a 52-51 record since he was named interim manager. Despite a strong pitching performance from rookie Paul Skenes, who had 187 strikeouts and a 2.05 ERA, the offense was inconsistent. The team's poor performance has led to them being on the verge of having a losing all-time franchise record for the first time since 1903.

Hold on, hold on, wait, WAIT! The Pirates have had an all-time record above .500 since 1903. The Pirates!? The Pittsburgh Pirates!? That can’t be correct. (Gets on baseball reference) 

Well, clear the deck and raise the Jolly Roger, as of this writing they have a 10,903-10,896 record. With all the terrible seasons they’ve had since 1980 they still have a winning all time record. Even crazier, as of this writing the only team in the division with an all-time record below .500 are the Brewers. 

(Now that we are at elimination day they have officially gone below .500 as a franchise. Now they could finish the season above .500, but that doesn’t seem likely.)

Did the Savannah Bananas Play at their Field? 

They did the same weekend they were eliminated from the division the Bananas played at PNC. 

Gym Class Heroes was there. I assume they are the Outkast of Pittsburgh. 

One thing about Banana Ball is that the players who couldn't quite make it to the Show get to play in these Major League Parks.  That's an amazing opportunity and even though they are playing an exhibition game they are playing in front of a sold out crowd in their hometown. For some if they had made it to the Big Leagues it would take 5 games to reach the attendance of one Banana Ball game. 

Is there a baseball movie featuring this team that has dumb baseball logic I need to vent about? 

The original “Angels in the Outfield!”. It basically follows the same premise of the re-make but old-timey! I haven’t seen this version of the movie, but a team in last place trying to win the pennant has a little more credibility in a 1950s movie, but probably still nearly impossible. 

I guess this was Eisenhower’s favorite movie. 

How Will Your Team Do Next Year? 

A lot of re-building around Reynolds and Skenes. Hopefully they can get a manager that can keep this late season momentum going but probably still a few years away. They still ahve Skenes, Reynolds and Cruz but they probably don't do much better 68-94. 

Next on the Chopping Block

An article on the Angels is coming very, very soon.