Seeing as it's August I'm just going to keep doing some more football related posts. This week I'm going to walk you through how you are going to win your Fantasy Football league this year.
HAVE THE BEST TEAM NAME
Championships are won by having a clever and unique team name. Awesome team name usually leads to success. Last year I took 3rd with the team name Fun-Cussion: My Brain Hurts Let's Play Football and won my league 2 years ago with the team name Mike McCarthy's Lazy Eye. Have a good team name and your team will be good as well. This year one of my team names is My Other Hobby is Your Mom. Shooting to the top of my girlfriend's family league with that one.
DON'T DO ANY RESEARCH OR PREPARATION
Research is for the birds. You know how you are going to win your Fantasy League this year? By showing up to the draft and borrowing any of the materials that other people have brought with them. Fact 75% of the people that are drafted get injured. So it doesn't really matter who you draft. You are going to be going to the pool of free agents before the first game anyway. So don't put too much time into research. You should be using the draft to get as drunk as possible and talk as much shit as possible.
PROPOSE AS MANY TRADES AS POSSIBLE
Trades are important to championships. Make sure to do a trade at least once a week. Even if you don't need anyone make sure to propose trades. Because there will come a time when someone is going to need a key player and they will come to you first because they know you are the guy that will actually make a trade in the league. Don't be a pussy take chances with trades.
DON'T LOOK AT YOUR LINEUPS UNTIL SUNDAY
99% of NFL games happen on a Sunday. So why waste your time re-arranging your lineups? Just wait until Sunday. But what about games on Thursday? If your players are good they'll still be in the line-up from the week before anyway, so you won't even have to worry about Thursday night games. This goes the same with preparation, if you actually do preparation and try to play match-ups you're going to lose.
MAKE SURE TO TALK TO THE MOST SHIT ON THE MESSAGE BOARDS
The only thing you should be doing on your fantasy league during the week is talking shit. Call out how your opponent is going through a divorce or how their kid can barely throw a baseball. These are things that can make sure that your opponent is thinking about a comeback instead of setting a lineup.
DON'T WATCH FOOTBALL UNLESS IT'S YOUR FAVORITE TEAM
Most of the players on your fantasy team are playing on shitty teams. Why put yourself through watching a shitty football game. Don't watch those games because once you start watching those games your player is going to do shitty anyway. So just stay away from it.
There you go that's all you need to win your Fantasy Football League. So when you win just make sure to send me a cut of your winnings.