Well, it’s that time of year again; when student-athletes take to the hardwood to determine a national champion of round ball. Everyone in the country has their hearts set to winning their office or family pool in hopes of bringing in a sum of money that will hopefully not trigger an audit by the IRS.
Last year I gave you some fool-proof tips on how to win your pool. This year is no different. So here are the tips from last year and how they did. Plus some new tips for success.
#1 Don’t Pick Teams Named After Fake States. (They Went 3-3)
#2 Don’t Pick a Team that has a Direction in their name unless it’s North Carolina. (They went 3-6. North Carolina went 2-1)
#3 Don’t Pick Gonzaga They are Terrible.(Made it to the Elite 8 last year.)
#4 There will be a #12 vs. #13 matchup. (There wasn’t, but there was a 11-14 matchup.)
#5 Don’t Advance a Team out of the 1st Round if you can’t Spell their Name (Not sure how to rate this one, I’m a pretty good speller)
#6 If you Don’t know where the School is Actually Located Don’t Pick them. (Same deal as the one before except I know where teams are.)
#7 Just Pick Kentucky(Made it to the Final 4 but didn’t win it.)
Tip #1: Don’t let a #1 seed survive the first weekend.
Yeah, they’ll win the first game. They always do, but in order to win cash you need to make bold moves. Have a #1 seed drop to an 8 or 9 seed the in their second game. It’s bold but if you call it right you get points and someone loses a potential final four team. It’s like winning double.
If you are feeling extra saucy don’t put any of the #1 seeds in the final four. It’s happened before so you might as well go for the gold and have a #2, #8 and two #4s in the final four.
Tip #2: Put Michigan State into the Elite 8.
Every freakin’ year they make it really far. Even when they are terrible they make the Final Four somehow. So you might as well just move them into the Final Four right now. They should have been a #1 seed.
Tip #3: If they are new to the tournament and above a 14 seed move them ahead.
The tournament is all about emotion. If it’s your first time being in the dance you aren’t going to stand against the wall as the cool guy with a car gets the girl. These teams that are making their tournament debut and have a decent seed are essentially locks to move on. They haven’t been there so they play the loosest. If they are going up against a team that is poised to “Make a Run” you have them go over the established team. It’s a game of momentum.
Tip #4: Cities don’t win Championships
If your college is the name of a city it’s not going to win the whole thing. Have them win a few games but cities don’t win championships. Louisville and Syracuse are the only teams that are legit to win, but Syracuse isn’t good and Louisville is suspended.
Tip #5: Boring = Money
Teams that control the clock and don’t turn the ball over win games. If you read a message bored about how a team is boring they are probably going to make a small run.
Tip #6: Lottery Picks = Money
The teams that have a good number of future NBA players are the teams you want to back in the tournament. I mean if they are good enough to play in the pros then they are definitely going to take to some stupid kids. Advance the team at least the same number of rounds as 1st round draft picks on their team.
Tip #7: Run the Tournament Pool
This is the easiest way to win. Run the pool, find out where you can make some slight differences in order to win and collect the money. It’s pretty much the greatest plan of all time. It only works if you don’t do an online pool. So tell everyone that it’s time to go back to the good old days of pen and paper.
There you go have fun and remember if you win big you need to split the money with me.